'Morbidly Obese' Dog Found Frozen to Sidewalk Slims Down

So why can't you, fat person?

A year after a "morbidly obese" dog froze to a Wisconsin sidewalk, the border collie mix has lost 40 pounds and is slowly returning to an active lifestyle.

Jiffy is still portly, but his owner said he's finally moving "like a regular dog." The dog weighed about 120 pounds when he froze to the sidewalk in December 2008 in single-digit temperatures. His dense layers of fat probably helped him survive.

Afterward a court ordered Jiffy's owner to give him up.

Patty and Peter Geise of Sheboygan Falls said when they adopted Jiffy, he could barely step over a 4-inch-high pipe. Even then he had to rest afterward.

The Sheboygan Press reported that now he walks a mile at a normal pace.

Patty Geise said it's rewarding to see how much Jiffy has improved.

Because you are dumber than a morbidly obese dog.

And/or you are foolish enough to follow the advice of AdipOprah and her experts.