Diet pill’s icky side effects keep users honest

Not. It keeps users messy.

Alli works! It really does make you poop your pants.

Here are some endorsements.

“(I)’ve pooped my pants 3 times today, and sorry to get descriptive but it even leaked onto the couch at one point!” writes one user.

It can strike any time — even in the early hours of the morning. One user writes: “(Y)a know how when you start moving around in the morning ya pass a little gas. Well, I did and then went into the bathroom and to my horror I had an orange river of grease running down my leg.”

Fellow cheaters advise each other on the best clean-up methods, and some even suggest using panty liners or Depends. One frugal user noted, “I’m thinking that infant diapers might be a cheaper way to go, just use them as a large pad.”

It appears as if Alli is best used just before going to a dark theater where you can decorate someone else's furniture and play a practical joke on the next person to sit in your seat.

Have fun!