Dietician Gives Tips On How To Survive The Coming Holiday Feeding Frenzy

"The first thing we do, let's kill all the dieticians (and other weight loss experts)." With apologies to the Bard, Henry The Sixth, Part 2 Act 4, scene 2

We're in the season when sugary, high-calorie treats will be among the highest hurdles to maintaining healthy eating habits and proper weight management through New Year's Day. The first big hurdle: Halloween sweets.

"October is a difficult time for many people looking to watch what they eat because candy and other high-calorie treats are everywhere," said Brooke Schantz, a dietitian at Loyola University Medical Center in Maywood, Ill. "It's hard to avoid. It's colorfully displayed on shelves in stores, stashed around the house and crammed in candy dishes that always seem magically filled in the workplace."

F**k you, idiot.

It's the holidays, moron.

People should enjoy them.

And the part about "maintaining healthy eating habits and proper weight management through New Year's Day."

As if most people "maintain healthy eating habits and proper weight management."

Not.

The thing to do is not ruin the holidays, which account for only 1.095% of the year (Halloween, Thanksgiving, XMas and New Years - 4 days).

The thing to do is exercise caloric intake control the rest of the year - 98.905%.

Jerk.