Obese have right to 2 airline seats: Canada court

Brain freeze from the frigid North.

"Obese people have the right to two seats for the price of one on flights within Canada, the Supreme Court of Canada ruled on Thursday.

The high court declined to hear an appeal by Canadian airlines of a decision by the Canadian Transportation Agency that people who are 'functionally disabled by obesity' deserve to have two seats for one fare."

The Canuck courts are "functionally disabled by stupid."

Unfortunately, all passengers will have to pay for the court's ignorance.

I say let's up the Canadian ante and push the envelope.

If you are among Fitness Watch's Canadian friends and have a push-the-envelope sense of humor/curiosity, please try this:

1. Buy a ticket for an intra-Canadian flight.

2. Wait until after take-off.

3. Crap in your pants. Something that smells real bad. (you may have to prepare in advance)

4. Explain to the flight staff that you are "functionally disabled by rectal prolapse causing occasional incontinence." You simply cannot make it to the bathroom in time, sometimes.

5. Explain how it will be easier on the other passengers if you have an entire row to yourself, now and in the future.

6. Offer your name for airline compliance to your needs on future flights.

7. Land.

8 Book another flight several days later, reminding the airlines that you're "functionally disabled by rectal prolapse causing occasional incontinence."

9. Ask for a row or section depending on how bad your last episode smelled.

10. If they demand that you wear adult diapers, remind them that your problem is occassional and tell them that if they intend to deny you a seat, you'll sue.

11. If they try to charge you extra, tell them you'll sue. Hey, it's your right to have more than one seat when you are "functionally disabled."

12. Let me know how things turn out.

(Readers with spermatorrhea, can try, too. Just remember to yell, "Incoming" or "Fore" as a courtesy to the other passengers. Keep us apprised.)

There is a difference between the above and fatsos.

The fat problem is not occasional.

Still, I think it would be an interesting experiment.

Thanks in advance for trying.