"Many academic health centers offer programs that include traditional Chinese treatments or Ayurvedic medicine from India. The University of New Mexico goes beyond that, says management of its new Center for Life."Ayurveda is an Indian form of health care. How good is it?
"OVER THE last fifty years, there has been a notable reduction in old-age mortality. Longevity of humans has risen substantially all over the world. The situation in India is striking; the average lifespan of an Indian has risen from less than 50 years to over 62 years within the last three generations. Factors such as increased immunity to pathogens, better nutrition, better public health and sanitation, and the discovery and use of effective drugs and vaccines are responsible for this increase in lifespan. The situation in Western Europe, US and Japan is even more striking, where people live up to their seventies, and are touching the 80-year mark."Good enough for you to die earlier than you normally might.
And traditional Chinese medicine?
"The oldest and biggest Chinese medicine store in Beijing is stocked with traditional ingredients like deer's penis, dried seahorses, fungi, and ginseng."Fortunately, the selection of penises to eat is not limited to the deer's dear penis:
"There is also a nice selection of penis cuisine as well, seal penis, ox penis, sheep penis, deer penis,lobster with donkey penis, horse penis and testicles with chili dip." (and here)At least there is a therapeutic protocol for administering these medications:
"They are usually prepared in a hot pot or stir-fried, and one penis, according to traditional Chinese medicine, should be shared by three people."Group therapy, apparently.
Why take Viagra/Levitra/Cialis in the privacy of your own home when you can chow down on a dead (I hope) deer's dear dick with some new flaccid pals?
Hey, add an Ayurvedic chaser for even better health:
"HINDU nationalists in India have launched a marketing exercise to promote cow's urine as a health cure for ailments ranging from liver disease to obesity and even cancer.And it's been tested! It can cure anything! (You simply must try the cow dung when you visit New Mexico. I hear it is to die for. Plus you will get the full benefit of the treatment. What a deal.)
The urine, which is being sold under the label "Gift of the Cow", is being enthusiastically promoted by the government of Gujarat, one of three states in India dominated by Hindu nationalists...
The healing properties of cow dung and cow's urine are also mentioned in ancient Hindu texts. The research conducted by doctors at the cow-protection commission indicates that the urine can cure anything from skin diseases, kidney and liver ailments to obesity and heart ailments."
And don't forget about those horse testicles (see above). Drop the dip.
Instead, have the NEW "BEER" NUTS!
Give 'em a twist in the cow's urine. (Lemon is so passe. Besides you can get sick from lemon twists in your beverage. This stuff cures what ails you.)
Chug! Chug! Chug! Chug!
Now it is possible that not all of these treatments will find their ways into the mouths of New Mexicans or others who travel great distances to this "medical center."
It is probable that some of them are going into the other end of NM's taxpayers' digestive tracts, ,i.e., poop chute, whether they like it or not.
What else would you expect from the state that has Bill Richardson, the man with "interesting" notions about sick care, as its governor?
Hey, wait a minute.
Dear Richard(son), isn't that another name for Dear Dick?
There must be some sort of holistic/complementary/alternative Jupiter Effect at work here.
Can't wait to see what Medicare/Medicaid/insurance reimbursement is on this stuff.
Great way to make a buck. Or is that bake a buck (to cook it's penis)?
And "The University of New Mexico goes beyond" Ayurvedic and traditional Chinese medicine!
Cancer, beware. Your days are numbered.
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